Guarded

I have read a lot of hockey romance books but never one quite like this. The storyline was unlike anything I have read in a fake marriage trope. It was refreshing to have such a unique storyline.

My dislikes:
Within the first 10% of the book, it was clear Sebastian was head over heels in love with Kat despite her being no more than a mere acquaintance. Even for a he falls first trope, this is a bit much. He also realizes he’s in love with her right before he marries her which, again, is a bit much considering the limited time he has spent with her.

The book wasn’t exactly clear on a timeline. Kat didn’t end up meeting Sebastian’s daughter until right before the 3rd act conflict. Sebastian shared custody with his ex-wife who had her at the time Kat and Sebastian got married. It was clear at least some time had passed since he had a 4 day stretch of away games shortly after the wedding. It didn’t seem plausible that Kat got all the damning evidence she needed in less than a week. Unless I missed it with how fast I read, It would have been nice to some construct of time.

I also would’ve like to see more of the dynamics between Sebastian and Ava. A key premise of the book was him fighting for custody but there weren’t any scenes actually involving this. There was one or two minor interactions with Ava but that’s it. I also would’ve liked to see Ava’s fall from grace rather than a few one-liners in narrative text about her giving up the fight for custody and possibly going to prison. There were also a few mentions from Stone, Sebastian’s team captain, about Sebastian coming to talk to him when he realizes he doesn’t have things figured out. It would have been nice to read about Sebastian going to talk to him about everything after it went down instead of an off-hand comment from Stone after everything worked out about Sebastian not messing things up. I also would have liked to see something from Sebastian’s perspective during the 5 weeks they were apart and how it affected his mentality and his game along with some interactions with his friends about it. The book cuts from when he found out to Kat talking to her brother a week later at Thanksgiving to Sebastian running into Kats brother, Tyler, five weeks after he found out. There’s a huge gap there that could’ve been filled with a custody hearing, conversations with Stone or his friends, information about the story breaking in the news.

My likes:
Despite my feelings on how quick he fell in love with someone he hardly knows, I adored Sebastian. He had no issues leaning on his friends for help even though he knew they would give them crap. He spent the entire book fighting to prove to Kat how much he loved her. He didn’t push her into anything intimate despite his cravings for her. He even repeatedly questioned her motivates and certainty each time they were intimate to make sure she wouldn’t regret the decision after. He struggled with knowing something was eating at her and not being able to help her through it.

Kat spends the most of the book fighting her feelings for him, pushing him away every time he gets close to her. She is clearly tortured and it shows heavily throughout the book. The author did a good job showing just how much she struggled with it. You could totally feel the pain Kat was going through as she struggled with what she had done to Sebastian and her growing love for him.

Despite how the first 15% of the book went, I loved this book. I didn’t think I would enjoy it as much as I did, but it just got better and better as I read. The text threads were entertaining whether between Sebastian and Kat or between Sebastian and his “posse”.

The third act conflict had me in tears. You knew it was coming; you just didn’t know when or how it would happen. The anticipation kept me up until 1:30 am so I could finish the book. When it finally did happen, it wasn’t rushed or glossed over. The range of emotions Sebastian went through when he found out was palpable. The angst and anguish Kat suffered was palpable. Despite his pain, Sebastian showed Kat kindness and some compassion while she explained how she was the one who was destroying um and why.

When they finally did reconnect, it wasn’t a hurried scene where he showed up and she threw herself at him. She argued and argued about why she wasn’t worthy. He apologized and professed his love until it sank in. It was heartfelt and more real than a quick apology acceptance.

Overall, this was a really good book.